Infidelity
By DrLovegood on 08-07-2008
Guardians generally make faithful mates. Usually if they engage in an affair, they will either soon stop it and go back to their mate or they will work to make an end to the first relationship in favor of the second. Guardians can have long term affairs if the first relationship in needed for status, power, or the sake of the children. It is fairly rare for Guardians to have a series of affairs. To do that, they have to somehow talk themselves of any sexual commitment to their partner.
Artisans are the most likely of the temperaments to engage in infidelity with multiple partners. That said, most don’t. The habitual adulterers do it for the thrill of the chase and the victory of winning the other person. Artisans tend to have the highest sex drive. If their partner can’t or won’t perform, they may look for a purely physical relationship. They are also the most likely to use an affair as a weapon. If their partner wrongs them, they may choose this nuclear option.
Rationals tend to be faithful, with Masterminds (INTJ) the most likely and Inventors (ENTP) the least likely. As a rule, Rationals have a more manageable sex drive than other temperaments. Sex is still very important to them, but usually not as all-consuming except during the teen years. Rationals are the most likely (along with Promoter and Crafter Artisans) to separate sex and love. When they do that, they may have little trouble justifying an affair. Inventors sometimes act like Artisans, going for the adrenaline high of conquest.
Most Idealists have a difficult time with sustained infidelity. They have a high need to be true to themselves, and they tend to have a romantic view of love. Infidelity is inconsistent with both of these. If you have made a commitment to a person, being unfaithful to them means being untrue to yourself. Unfaithfulness and romantic love just don’t mix. Affairs tend to be short-lived because guilt kicks in fairly soon.
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Posted by Perseus on Aug 8, 2008
I like the term catting around. The ISFP Cats have trouble being faithful. (Not a Guardian, a strong NP) |
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Posted by bsaunders on Aug 8, 2008
Hmmm...where does polyamory fit into this?! Most polyamorists I've met are Idealists and Rationals. Personal objections to betrayals and "catting around" (in the Idealists); disinterest in the usual dating games (in the Rationals); philosophical objections to the monogamy/exclusivity imperative (in both temperaments.) My sense is that Guardians and Artisans are far less likely to go in for these "deviant" relationship configurations up front but more likely to "cheat." |
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Posted by DrLovegood on Aug 8, 2008
bsaunders -- good heavens! I thought I was dealing with enough deviation for one column. I find it interesting that you know Rational polyamorists. I wouldn't predict there would be very many of them. I wouldn't think they'd want a lot of close relationships. Idealist makes sense, particularly Champion and Healer. Choosing can sometimes be difficult and there's the issue of not hurting anyone. I would also think that Artisans might have difficulty with choosing only one. |
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Posted by Perseus on Aug 9, 2008
The Mechanics (ISTP) do like to have regulars. The Artists (ISFP) follow the cash machine. The first will admit it, but the second lot dress it up with rationalisations and excuses afterwards of they get found out by an angry partner. The Artists usually need a Guardian SJ. The Artisans are very adaptable. The Healers/Questor have so much trouble finding a mate that if they find a compatible one they are likely to be faithful, if tempted, unless they have the misfortune to mate an Artisan (quite likely). I have done the later with less than 9½ weeks ... |
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Posted by gemini612 on Aug 10, 2008
This is frightening |
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Posted by LisaFairhurst on Aug 10, 2008
Regarding Eisenhower. I read a book by Kay Summersby who was his assistant during part of WWII. Based on what she wrote, he was mentally capable of having an affair but couldn't carry it out physically. She believed he was going to go back to America, divorce Mamie and marry her. Summersby seems to be an Artisan, but I'm not sure what kind. |
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Posted by bsaunders on Aug 11, 2008
Dr. Lovegood, The notion that polyamory is about "not being able to choose" is a myth. The Rational polyamorists I know actually outnumber the Idealist ones, the prime motive being not abundance of intimate relationships but philosophical (logical) objection to many of the premises underlying monogamy, including: the notion of sexuality as a measure of fidelity and the default construct of "committed relationship" as "contract of exclusive access." The person with whom I've discussed this most extensively, a former coworker, is a philosophy PhD candidate and Constitutional scholar with long study of Foucault under his belt - definitely a Rational. |
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Posted by blackcatbone on Aug 12, 2008
In my experience, artisans are more likely to be unfaithful repeatedly and sustainedly than any other type. This is because they are often non-reflective and amorally oriented. I.E. In the rare event that they do confront themselves of any morally questionable behavior, they see the world through such a relativistic lens, that they can easily find some way of framing their infidelity in such a way that appeals to their unfeigning self-love. |
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Posted by LisaFairhurst on Aug 13, 2008
blackcatbone, while I think you're right, I did want to say that I know a lot of Artisans who are faithful including my best friend. |
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Posted by blackcatbone on Aug 14, 2008
Lisa, I agree. The relationship between personality and infidelity represents a tendacy, not a universal rule. The choice to follow one's conscience is available to all. My previous posting was primarily an attempt to penetrate the connection between the general traits of The Artisan typology and their relatively (to other types) prominent tendecy to cheat. I should also say that it seems that among Artisans, The Composer is less likely to cheat than the other sub-types in my experience. |
I agree about the masterminds being the most faithful of the rationals. I remember when I first heard Stephen Ambrose say that Eisenhower was physically incapable of having an affair I thought it was pretty silly, until I realized it was true. I think masterminds are capable of leaving a relationship when the relationship is over. This makes it much harder to justify any affair. Of the artisans the promoters and performers are definitely the two most likely to engage in infidelity. One of my good friends is a performer. He cheated on his fiancee (until she left) like he didn't even have a girlfriend . . . dunno how that works.