We’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feelin’
By DrLovegood on 03-27-2008
More songs and possibly more poems have been written about love than any other topic. Happy-in-love songs are usually pretty sappy while crossed-in-love songs tend to seem more substantial and true to life. Here are some tips to help you become or continue to be happily, sappily in love. As I wrote last week, many of these tips will work equally well for men of the same temperament.
.jpg)
How Guardian women want to be shown love:
-
Guardians generally work very hard to keep the family going. Recognize that by spoiling them with bubble baths, time alone, back rubs, small gifts, and the like
-
Comment positively on new hairstyles, new clothing, weight lost/gained, effects of working out, and the like
-
Praise for good household and money management
-
Run interference for them with people or situations they find especially stressful
-
They want to be seen as physically desirable
How Artisan women want to be shown love:
- Physical pampering including back rubs, brushing hair, putting lotion on, and sometimes more active games, such as can’t catch me or wrestling
- Comment positively on their elegance of motion and physical conditioning, along with hair and clothes
- Praise for positive thinking and playful spirit
- Provide structure in areas where they are weak without making a jail
- They want to be seen as physically irresistible
How Rational women want to be shown love:
- Listen to their ideas and offer suggestions which say that their ideas are worth pursuing
- Allow them to handle things without interference or second-guessing
- Praise for incisive and radical thinking
- Take care of things in the sensing world for them, such as housework, car maintenance, and repairs
- They want to be seen as having an irresistibly beautiful mind
How Idealist women want to be shown love:
- Listen to them without trying to solve problems. Periodically summarize, synthesize, and restate so it is clear you are listening intelligently
- Express your belief that they can come up with good answers to problems but be prepared to provide shelter when the fallout gets unbearable
- Praise for their insights into people and their ability to help people
- Protect them from emotional devastation
- They want to be seen as having an irresistibly beautiful soul
 |
 |
 |
|
Posted by andert on Mar 27, 2008
I would like to add that the best praise, I think, for a Rational is not to say "that's a great idea" but to use that idea. For instance, when my wife suggested a 15 minute timed cleaning period each night, I made sure to remember it (not easy for an INTP!). |
 |
 |
Posted by Yotsuya on Mar 28, 2008
ARGGHH! No insight?! I love listening and they way I've shown it is usually by giving insight into the problem. Problems with an Idealist/Idealist match grows apparent. -- Could you elaborate in anyway on the second point in Idealist section? |
| |
 |
Posted by DrLovegood on Mar 29, 2008
Nolimits -- thanks for the comment! If she's happier, you're likely to be happier. ........................ andert -- good feedback! ................................... Yotsuya -- Giving insight to an Idealist is fine. It's when you give solutions that they feel you aren't listening to them. Idealists often know what needs to be done in order to solve a problem but they don't always have the ability to carry out the solution. That's when a mate can really help by offering extra energy, a shoulder to cry on, or absolution. |
| |
 |
Posted by Shatina on Mar 31, 2008
Dear drlovegood, I am a Guardian (Inspector) I feel that description fits me well. My husband on the other hand does not understand me at all. You've stated the ways a guardian woman want to be loved and that is Me! I don't recieve those things at all. My husband is not an affectionate person at all. No touching, no kissing, no cuddling, this is driving me crazy. He was loving at the beginning of our relationship and now that we are married, he feels no desire to touch me unless there is something in it for him. I just need to know what I can do to make myself more desirable to him. Talking about it turns into an arguement. I feel hopeless can you help? |
 |
|
Posted by LalaChan on Apr 29, 2008
Wow, ya the whole Idealist part was spot on..however..I agree with a lot of the artisan part as well. I guess thats just me personally though. |
| |
|
Posted by LalaChan on May 6, 2008
Shatina- :) Spoil yourself. Go to a spa, get your hair done, buy some snappy new clothes. I have had times when I don't feel appreciated or anything, so I just take a day or two to appreciate myself. Once I do that, I feel so much better and everyone notices...even my rational guy friends. I believe there's a quote out there that says "love yourself first and everything else falls into place." besides, I'm sure that once your hubby gets a load of your sexy new confidence, he'll come runnin'. |
 |
 |
Posted by jamieowen on Jul 25, 2008
I'm an Artisan ESFP and this is spot on for me!! thanks, DrLoveGood |
Hit the nail on the head - great advice for me to remember with my Idealist Champion wife. As a Rational, I almost always will go into problem solving mode, which as you point out, is not what she is looking for! I think I will print the bullet points for Idealist women and carry it in my wallet.