Party Styles
By LisaFairhurst on 04-13-2008
I have friend who is probably a Guardian Protector (ISFJ). She was meticulous about everything for her daughter’s party. She spent hours perfecting an invitation which was to go to three little girls. She looked high and low to find someone to make a cake like she envisioned it. She special ordered particular goodies for the sedate tea party. I felt suffocated by her pursuit of perfection.
Another friend is an Artisan Performer (ESFP). She raises Coton de Tulear puppies. For her daughter’s birthday, she decided to have a Puppy Party. She rented a bounce house and served the children pizza. When I asked her about party favors and party games, she had assembled generic favors and said that the girls would be spending the bulk of the time bouncing and playing with the puppies (who went to their new owner’s the following weekend). So her party is a very physically active one. A friend who is an Artisan Composer (ISFP) held her child’s party at a gymnastics club. The kids had a blast doing various gymnastics. But I was miserable because the club was in a warehouse without air conditioning and the temperature outside was over 90 degrees.
Neither of my Artisan friends seem to care that much about having everything match, unlike my Protector friend who was obsessive. I guess I’m in the middle. I go nuts getting all kinds of stuff to match the theme, but my children’s parties tend to be somewhat physical and messy. The parties my mother threw tended to be clean and orderly.
When my second son turned 12, we had a Pig-Out party. This involved lots of snacks and pig games like eat like a pig, feed the pig, pass the hot pig, swat the pig (pink balloons and fly swatters), and sling the pig (pig slingshots). I had all kinds of pig prizes including pigs that poo. When the same child turned 11, we had a pie fight with small whipped cream pies then water balloon fight followed by turn on the hose. The kids had a blast.
Recently we went to a 50th birthday party for one of husband’s car poolers. She is an Artisan Performer (ESFP). She is also a lawyer. The house was filled with more people than my husband and I have friends put together. The property was wall to wall people. There was no particular theme except to have a good time. She had an accordion player of all things, and she and her twin brother danced. I didn’t know anyone except the birthday girl and her immediate family, but the atmosphere was quite congenial. Being an introvert, I felt out of place, so I sat in a corner and pulled out some crocheting and started to crochet fur on socks. I ended up giving a pair to one of the other party-goers who wanted them for her niece.
My Rational Mastermind (INTJ) husband would not be too happy if I surprised him with a large birthday party. But his father, a Rational Inventor (ENTP) loved parties. I’m guessing that the more E and P you are, the more you enjoy big parties.
 |
 |
 |
 |
Posted by broccolimama on Apr 14, 2008
I despise large parties. My daughter's birthday is coming up. She wants a large party. I told her I was sorry, but I just couldn't do it. Instead, I told her we would have a few people over on several different occasions spread over a week or two. The actual party is going to be on the day after her birthday. She is inviting four friends...two sets of sisters, so only two moms will be coming. Both of these moms are my friends...people that I can talk ideas, literature, etc. with. These moms don't know each other, so it's also an opportunity for me to introduce two people that I think will get along famously. For the party itself, I like to have a theme with things matching. She wants a princess party, so we have a lot of pink. I like to make the party favors, or get things like candles and bath salts for the goodie bags. While I'm not as perfectionist as your Guardian friend, I like things to match, to look nice, to be comfortable for everyone. As for the activities...that's entirely up to my daughter. I said I'd get the house clean, make food, help plan the menu, and make party favors and invitations, but for "entertaining"...forget it. She can plan games or just play with dolls with her friends. |
 |
|
Posted by mkb32 on Apr 15, 2008
Ironically, my oldest son, whom I think is an ENTP just turned 13. And I have been beating myself up for NOT just making an AWESOME 13th birthday party happen. Bless his heart, I sooo wished he'd had a mother who knew how to throw a party. I've spent weeks asking him what he wanted to do or have for this special birthday. He has come up with several "passing" ideas ie: go-cart track party, paintball party (pardon while Idealist mother hyperventilates at thoughts of a "GUN" party!?!) My "E" scores on the KTS was 7. Ask Jack Dermody if that crazy woman who actually had to stand through most of his workshop, accosted him with a GIANT hug as soon as she recognized him and talked to EVERYONE there, was an extrovert or not. I'm thinkin' that he'll say ... maybe. SO WHY CAN"T I THROW A PLANNED PARTY? ... I think the issue is my "P" score is 9. I want someone to plan it & see to the details. Then I'll make sure everyone there has good time whatever that means to them. |
 |
|
Posted by bsaunders on Apr 18, 2008
I had a fortieth birthday party for myself at the urging of my friends. Hated it! I felt very uncomfortable being the center of attention (typical INFP?) My favorite way to celebrate my own birthday -- alone for "me-time" on the actual day, quiet dinners with friends during the week. |
| |
|
Posted by LisaFairhurst on Apr 19, 2008
I hate big parties too. Fortunately, my kids don't have that many friends. ;-) The biggest party so far has had around 12 children including my 3. ...................... Michele, I'd have to agree that you're "P"ing out. Maybe if you'd only wanted to throw a nice party for him you could have done it. Wanting an awesome party makes it too hard to settle on anything. Paintball sounds great except for the expense. Boys seem to be constitutionally constructed to make and use weapons. My oldest knew how to bite graham crackers into gun shapes before he was 2 and had almost never watched any TV. Go figure. |
| |
|
Posted by mkb32 on Apr 21, 2008
Thank you for the kind words, Lisa. |
I think it's more about the E/I dichotomy than the J/P one. For example, large parties of any kind grate on my INTP personality. Parties seem to be related to how expressive one is, and reserved types never seem to thrive in environments of that nature unless most of the attendees are reserved themselves. However, I suppose with Rationals, it might also need to take into account the level of involvement in the set-up of the party as well. Being a recipient of attention is likely less fulfilling than being included in organisation and/or scheduling. At least that's how I perceive it.