Care and Feeding Of an Artisan Mate
By DrLovegood on 04-10-2008
Artisan men generally want to see themselves as strong enough to protect their mate from harm. This strength may be physical or cleverness, such as the ability to negotiate or pull the right strings. Artisan women like to spice up their relationships by playing different roles and games. They often enjoy being a sexual tease to provoke interest in their mate. Artisans are the most likely to portray themselves as irresistible to the opposite sex. Playing into these fantasies/realities can help you have a contented mate.
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Because Artisans tend to be playful and can seem irresponsible, it is easy for the relationship to fall into that of a parent and child. The Artisan may become a compliant child who wishes to please or a rebellious teenager or a bit of both. Artisan Promoters (ESTP) are the most likely to be actively mutinous while all Artisans can become passive/aggressive. This dynamic is not good for either partner.
To build an effective adult relationship, do not lecture. The Artisan will resent the other person. Instead, create logical consequences, calmly explain them to your mate, and allow or carry out the consequences without comment and without being punitive. If an Artisan husband is constantly late for dinner without calling, the wife may inform him that dinner will always be at 6:30 unless he calls and asks for a delay. At 6:30, she serves dinner whether or not he is there. If he isn’t, he comes home to leftovers. While this doesn’t deal with the issue of keeping her informed of his plans, at least dinner is not being constantly disrupted.
Artisans generally love surprises and change. Surprise parties, spontaneous getaways, gifts and similar things are likely to be a big hit with an Artisan mate. Artisans often like to redecorate simply to change the look of things. Change for the sake of change is something to expect.
One thing that can annoy mates is the Artisan tendency towards laziness. Often, this laziness is simply part of how they operate. They will work at high speed maximum effort for quite a while and then do nothing for quite a while. This kind of up and down is natural for Artisans as they work hard and play hard. Artisans have a natural ebb and flow which is somewhat unpredictable. They can swing back and forth from being very demanding for attention to being totally independent. Periodically, they are single minded in following an impulse, which may include spending money, especially for female Artisans. Recognizing these patterns can save a lot of resentment.
Sometimes they will start projects or plans only to drop them days later. Paula, an Artisan Performer (ESFP), regularly worries about money. She has been to a class on how to budget, so periodically she’ll try to keep track of money as she was taught. The problem is that the plan involves keeping track of every penny spent. She can never keep it up longer than a couple of weeks because she’s playing against herself. She’s now trying a budget method which involves envelopes. That way she doesn’t have to keep track of absolutely everything.
Artisans tend to be fiscally liberal. They are likely to buy things for themselves and others without considering their financial situation. Some couples have the other partner handling most of the money and giving the Artisan an ‘allowance.’ Others have agreements not to spend more than ‘x’ without checking with the other person.
The bottom line with Artisans is to let them be who they are whenever possible. Don’t try to shove them into a square box, but give them freedom. Enjoy your mate, and they’ll bring you lots of fun, excitement, and pleasure.
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Posted by Keillan on Apr 11, 2008
I'll certainly find this useful given that my wife is a Promoter Artisan, and many of the characteristics listed are dead to rights, which is both to the good and to the bad. I suppose the trick is to minimise the bad and maximise the good. Very many thanks! |
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Posted by NoLimits on Apr 11, 2008
Also, get used to being late when you're going somewhere with your Artisan mate, or be prepared to go separately and let them show up on their own schedule. If the former, sign up to bring desert - not hors d'oevres to dinner parties! |
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Posted by DrLovegood on Apr 12, 2008
Thanks for the comments! NoLimits -- good addition. Truth in advertizing can help most relationships. If each partner has a better view of themselves and the other, they are more likely to be able to minimize the bad and maximize the good. Sometimes simply understanding that something is normal for a particular person makes the behavior a lot less annoying or confusing. |
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Posted by JackDermody on Apr 12, 2008
I hope that someday we can explore fully healthy and balanced temperaments, particularly healthy Artisans. In general, Artisans -- healthy or not -- get judged negatively and are marginalized perhaps more than the others. The video accompanying Keirsey's Please Understand Me II features a model Artisan. I am married to a model Artisan. In balanced splendor, Artisans change the world for the better, move mountains with bottomless physical energy, bring us down from our arrogant pedestals, work enormously hard, embrace change, love gallantly, party hearty, and, well, this list can go on for a few thousand words. Dr. Lovegood's appraisal above correctly describes a horde of Artisan mates, so this is not a criticism of her presentation. However, I've heard more than a few people express that they have detected a hierarchy of good-to-bad temperaments by students of Keirsey, one of those hierarchies (best-to-worst) being Rational, then Guardian, then Idealist, then Artisan. My experience, however, is that major strong, healthy, and balanced people of all four temperaments not only exist but are numerous and provide the synergy that keeps the planet in relative equilibrium. |
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Posted by LisaFairhurst on Apr 12, 2008
Jack, I think you've hit on a point. Artisans are marginalized, often subconsciously. I think part of the reason for that is that Artisans often don't bother to come around on these kinds of forums and put in their point of view. They are too busy living to the full to take time to analyze life. Anyway, because they don't weigh in, we fill that gap with our own prejudices and assumptions. That's why it's especially nice to have people like Bella comment. |
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Posted by TennisGuru on Jun 21, 2008
Jack - thanks for your input. I do buy gifts for others, not just on special occasions and I do have a 401k, portfolio and think about my entire families future. I did buy a Corvette but it was a 1995 for $14k and it gets 18+ mpg! Better than all of the big SUVs that some of my Rational friends own. An atypical artisan? I think that the Keirsey types do not make up the entire person and there are other components that you need in order to describe the whole person |
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Posted by lima on Jul 14, 2008
Thanks Jack & Lisa for your support. I've had a self discovery day today and I do frequently get the 'airhead' remark...and yet same detractors have no problem lecturing me and asking for help when they want it!! Anyhoo - I'm moderate on the scale as a Crafter would go - so thought I'd add my two cents in as well :) |
Thank you for this!! So true it almost hurts!! Perhaps I should type this out and give it to those whom I have been in relationships with in the past (as I remain friends with them all, including my ex husband) to help them understand some of our challenges better and also as a kind of 'warning label' to any prospective partners :-)